I need to dance. Summary of the crap in my life lately.

I’m losing my mind and going absolutely crazy! I need to dance. I want to go back to Studio Elite, but I don’t know it just doesn’t feel the same. I haven’t gone back since I quit team and I was suppose to go tomorrow to Wynesha’s class and take Lyrical Tech at 6:30 but I don’t know it just feels weird, like I don’t belong there. I don’t want to go there by myself , and Jen doesn’t want to dance ugh!  Especially on the week they’re preparing to go to competition! That just not right.. I need to pay off the money that I owe Larina or I won’t be able to relax. I hate owing money and I don’t want her to think i’m skipping out on paying her. my conscious wouldn’t let me do that … I don’t want to leave but I don’t feel right staying. Maybe try a new studio… but I don’t want to do it alone -___- Ugh decisions , decisions, decisions. The same things that are pushing me away is also making me want to stay.

I really don’t want any drama, but call me paranoid I feel like I’m being talk about behind my back by friends and its irritating and over some boy that I swear i’m not interested in!!! I just feel so distant from anyone. at least when I was on team I had people to hang with all the tiime. Now , I feel like they’re treating me like Sofia and i’m too old for that. If have something to say, just say it to me. I’d rather you be real, more than likely I won’t even be mad. like my tattoo says “let it be” and i’ve just been rolling with the punches just say what you mean and mean what you say.. the worst thing you can do is lie to me.

And School is a mess. and when I say that I mean SIFE and the FIX are a mess (not literally, we spent three hours today cleaning the FIX) it’s just all drama for no reason between Liz and Thomas and the immature kids I feel like i’m in high school some days. It’s not even my drama! i’m chill as fuck and don’t talk to anyone yet somehow I end up in mess whether I do the right thing or not. and I feel like I don’t have any personal time. We’ve been working so hard on improving the Fix and SIFE I haven’t even been able to listen to my iPod before today. It’s kinda weird. I spend all my time with my school friends and never get to see friends like Stefy and just chill and be Ron and Billy. Hell, even spend some time alone and just be with my thoughts. I can’t even get a good nights sleep. I mean I sleep but i’m either restless, rolling around, keep waking up, or having a mild nightmare; its scary but I don’t wake up and I don’t panic. I don’t even have time to contemplate it, I just wake up and get ready for school. I feel like I’m washing out.

I need a vacation!